Porn Misuse in NYC: How to Get Help

Does everyone look at pornography online?
No, not everyone, but many men admit to it, and many women do too.

National U.S. research suggests that approximately 8.6% of adults experience clinically relevant distress or impairment related to difficulty controlling sexual feelings, urges, or behaviors (Dickenson et al., 2018). Studies of problematic pornography use in the U.S. have suggested estimates ranging from approximately 3% to 17% (Moon et al., 2026). However, not everyone who looks at porn regularly has a problem.

Diagnosing Porn Misuse

While you may not know what to call it, “Porn Misuse,” “Porn Compulsivity,” “an impulse control disorder,” “OCD attached to porn,” or something else, you know what it looks and feels like.

• Do you find yourself watching porn and trying to set a time limit that you push past?

• Or say “Only one more site,” and then end up going to another porn site, and another?

• Do you lose hours to online pornography that you wish you could get back?

• Do you feel empty?

• Do you feel guilt? Shame? Embarrassment?

• Has it made sex and intimacy less satisfying or appealing in the real world?

• Have you had any difficulty performing sexually or getting as aroused?

• Are you afraid your partner may find out and judge, reject, or break it off with you if what you’ve been watching was revealed?

• Have you put yourself at risk at work by viewing things on work computers or devices, or by not getting enough sleep, or getting your work done because of hours viewing pornography online?

While there is not yet an agreed-upon label, i.e., porn misuse or compulsive porn viewing, it is clear that it is difficult to stop, takes up many hours per week of time, and there is a lot of emotional suffering that goes along with it. There are certainly intense positive feelings at times, but there can also be plenty of lows, accompanied by guilt, shame, and embarrassment, and even self-anger afterward. You may even feel hopeless, as quitting may seem impossible.

Is Porn Misuse Bad for You?

For some New Yorkers, viewing porn may not have a negative impact on their relationships, sexual performance, emotional or psychological life, or career.

There are many people addicted to viewing porn online who may be wrecking their lives in various ways. Take the case of Greg. Greg’s use of porn started at home on his computer. While he manages to find a way to do it privately, his wife certainly has been impacted, since he seems exhausted, distracted, and a lot less interested in initiating sex with her. He tells her he’s working late on the computer, but something feels different to her. Lately, he has been starting to use his phone to see porn as well. He’s even slipped and used his work computer—that really scared him. Controlling this habit feels impossible. Now he’s worried he could get into trouble at work, not for being behind because he isn’t as productive since he’s missing sleep, but because he’s visited those sites on a work computer while he’s on the clock. This all feels out of control and is making him feel anxious, embarrassed, ashamed, and angry at himself. All of these emotions can be overwhelming.

For many, the suffering can be intense, the time lost can be long, and the potential risks to one’s family and career can be incredibly high. Whether or not there is scientific consensus on generalizing about pornography being good or bad, I think the most important question for you is, “Does the way you view pornography increase or decrease your quality of life?”

If your answer is that it decreases it, then who cares what the scientific community thinks the impact is overall on the population, and who cares if the psychiatric community hasn’t decided what to call it? You have something causing you to suffer, and it is stealing satisfaction from your life. And if you are like most people engaging in this behavior, it’s been incredibly hard to control on your own.

Porn Misuse Treatment in New York City

Treatment for porn misuse does exist. There have not been many controlled trials. Online pornography hasn’t been around as long as alcohol or many drugs, so coupled with the lack of a diagnosis, many studies have not been done yet. But online porn is more accessible than illicit drugs, and even easier to get than a beer—anyone with a smartphone can pull it up 24 hours a day, no matter where you are; you can get it, no dealer other than AT&T or Sprint needed.

Fortunately, there is hope. Specific techniques in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can work to help you suffer less. You can learn how to decrease the number of hours you spend watching porn online and decrease your guilt, shame, embarrassment, frustration, depression, and helplessness. Reduce the risks that you may get into trouble at work or a fight with your partner, and increase your satisfaction and performance in your sex life.

If you have questions about treatment for porn or sex misuse, or want to schedule an appointment, please call my office.

We may not know what to call it, but we know it hurts, and we know there is help.

Frequently asked questions:

1. When does pornography use become a problem?
   Pornography use may become a concern when it feels difficult to control, takes up significant amounts of time, or begins to interfere with your relationships, work, sleep, sex life, or emotional well-being.
2. How can I tell whether my pornography use is negatively affecting my life?
   A useful question to consider is whether your pornography use is increasing or decreasing your overall quality of life. If it is interfering with relationships, work, sleep, intimacy, or emotional well-being, it may be worth exploring.
3. Can pornography use affect relationships or sexual intimacy?
   For some people, frequent or difficult-to-control pornography use may affect intimacy, sexual satisfaction, communication, or interest in partnered sex. The impact varies from person to person, but it may be worth addressing if your pornography use is affecting a relationship or sex life in ways you don’t want.
4. Can therapy help with problematic pornography use?
   Yes. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help you understand the thoughts, emotions, triggers, and behaviors connected to pornography use. Treatment can focus on developing greater control over the behavior, reducing distress, and improving relationships, sexual well-being, and overall quality of life.

References

Dickenson, J.A., Gleason, N., Coleman, E., & Miner, M.H. (2018). Prevalence of distress associated with difficulty controlling sexual urges, feelings, and behaviors in the United States. JAMA, 1(7). https://doi.org/10.1001./jamanetworkopen.20184468.

Moon, E.J., Garos, S., Kraus, S.W., & Borgogna, N.C. (2026). Compulsive sexual behaviors, pornography consumption, and co-occurring disorders among college students. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 55, 2299-2315. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-026-03462-w